As parents (and parents to be) we face some massive decisions. Some people (blush) tend to overthink and agonise, others turn to trusted friends or relatives or look to 'experts' and specialists. Chances are you are a combination of all these, and it varies depending n the decision you face. Hindsight can be a kick in the teeth, but we make the best decisions e can at the time we need to make them, with the resources we have available. Sometime the decisions are needed urgently. Whatever decision you make, someone will have an opinion on it.
Many times I have wished for a doula specific to that need , forums often highlight the areas where we need hi extra support Our gut is telling us 'something' but we can't quite formulate what it is. Often we simply don't know the questions we need to ask, or where to start, despite access to masses of 'information'. It helps to have someone to talk to. Someone with experience who is impartial. Sometime we just want to be told what to do. but nicely.
The Nocebo Effect is a phenomenon that can arise from a bad 'bedside manner'. Our care provider may be providing all the legally required information and disclosures, but if we do not feel respected or are left feeling pressured to make a particular decision and not free to explore alternatives, this can led to indecision, adverse outcomes or ineffective response to treatment or slow recovery. It is so important to find a care provider (for whatever care you need...not just pregnancy and birth) that makes you feel heard, seen and respected. The information is just one part of the puzzle.
If you do find yourself agonising over every little detail., to the point of anxiety, it might be good to reach out. In Canberra you can look at PANDSI or Australia wide there is PANDA or beyond blue.
I find myself at this crossroad. I am not 'postnatal' as Pumpkin is nearly 2. I wonder if my feelings are related to a bereavement. Maybe it is just decision fatigue. I have had 6 months agonising over Pumpkin's 4 front teeth. Agonising of my options, over our diet, over every tiny detail. In June we saw a dentist who may have given good advise but had me running for the hilly billy hills. Meanwhile, as I was busy being a mum, her teeth decayed before my eyes. I was devastated. Then she woke last week with a swollen upper lip...an abscess had formed. Yesterday I finally, on the good authority of a trusted friend, sucked up the courage to see another dentist. I immediately felt good about him. He was welcoming, respectful and honest. I made the heartbreaking decision to remove the teeth. Maybe it is best, maybe it is not. But I had to trust my gut. She is the happiest, loveliest little person! I wish I could just enjoy her. Some decisions, once made, can not be reversed. Just as birth has it's intervention scale...so does life!
This newsletter offers a few key articles for this time of year. A time of year when we can feel under the microscope (more so than usual). Perhaps relatives are offering unwelcome advice or suggestions. A time when we may be comparing ourselves, unfairly, to others...and forget that social media is a 'best of' and sometimes even a 'tailor made'.
If you have a newborn this Christmas, it is OK to say No to passing baby around. It is OK to breastfeed wherever you like, but sometimes it can be nice to find a quiet room to rest with baby and feed undisturbed (it certainly make for a great escape if you need one!).
You can watch story time in the Member Area.
* Storytime for Christmas: reading "Applesauce and the Christmas Miracle"
* Coping with Summer Pregnancy.
* Breastfeeding and alcohol.
* Looking after YOU.
* Singing of Summer
* Christmas Tree life stages
STORYTIME: APPLESAUCE AND THE CHRISTMAS MIRACLE
Coping with Summer Pregnancy
Read about Keeping Your Cool.
Breastfeeding and Alcohol (PDF from ABA)
Read the PDF
Looking after You
Go to bellablog article
I am very excited to have freshly minted copies of The Birth Map, ready to send.
If you order today, I will post it tomorrow and it may arrive just in time for Christmas. The first 10 orders are guaranteed the bonus copy of Birth Journeys. And my gifts to you are a head massager and the Little Book of Daisy zine. I can only post within Australia.
I am also excited to see the ebook available via Amazon anywhere in the world! Please leave a review.
I am really proud of The Birth Map. It contains all the questions I wish I'd known to ask the first time, and more! Please help me spread the word by sharing one or both of the links with your networks.It is Your Christmas. Your Way.
We all have different ways of celebrating or coping with this time of year. It can be hard being pregnant, in the heat, and being expected to rush from one party to the next, help with end of year productions, or even host family gatherings. It is OK to say no, or delegate tasks to others.
If you are breastfeeding, you may be wondering if you can have a drink or two. The above PDF from the Australian Breastfeeding Association explains how we metabolise alcohol, and the effect on our milk. 'Pump and dump' is not evidence based, so before you make more work or stress for yourself, read the PDF. It will also help if dealing with frowny fran/k.
In the New Year I am hoping to throw a few book launch parties. Blue Mountaineers and Canberrans are underway and I am looking towards The South Coast too. Melbourne is on the radar too.
Last year I felt like singing. I am trying to recapture that:
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